What gives him the right?

We try so hard to protect our children from harm. We think if we love them enough and arm them with knowledge, personal strength, and support, everything will be okay when they are adults.

Abused, bullied, and manipulated women are never armed with enough tools before, during, and after to be ever be completely “cured”. If victimized women are fortunate or unfortunate enough (depending upon your perspective) to have a child with their nemesis, the underlying stench from that relationship, is not washed away until their child is 18—and even then, there will always be a residue.

Even though the couple is divorced, most abusive men continue to verbally abuse and coerce his former spouse into doing things out of fear and to “keep the peace” for the benefit of the child.

So many of us who have never been in that situation, have difficulty understanding why these women can’t stand up to these men…we can offer support, resources, gentle (and not so gentle) advice, praying that something will stick and the woman will finally be free. All logic disappears

• The vision of the Abused Women’s Advocacy Project is a community without violence where people treat each other with respect.
  Facts
  1. People often use power in a coercive way to control or dominate
  others. This abuse of power violates rights of individuals, negatively
  impacts entire communities and is unacceptable behavior.
  2. The historical imbalance of power between men and women has
  resulted in the current reality that over 90% of the victims of
  domestic violence is female. Men can be victims of domestic violence
  and domestic violence occurs in same-sex relationships.
  3. Domestic violence takes many forms including physical, sexual,
  emotional, verbal, economic, intellectual and spiritual abuse. When
  other members of the family, including children, or community witness
  domestic abuse, their lives, too, are impacted.
  Beliefs
  -People experiencing violence and/or abuse have the potential to control their own lives and can be helped in doing this through support, information and encouragement.
  -Perpetrators of abuse are responsible for their actions. All of society must hold abusers accountable by clearly demonstrating that domestic violence and abuse is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
  -We have the responsibility to model behavior that is nonviolent, use power responsibly, manage conflict constructively. When we embrace this philosophy we encourage individual responsibility for personal and organizational action and growth.
  -Collaboration with diverse community partners is crucial to achieving a community wide recognition of, and response to, domestic violence and abuse. We believe that widespread cooperative education about nonviolence is key to building a community based on respect and ensuring safety for all.
  -Above all, our work must recognize and advocate on behalf of the individuals with whom we serve. All people have the right to live free from violence and domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviors that include the use of control, coercion, and intimidation (physical, sexual, mental, emotional or financial abuse) to gain power over one’s partner. People who abuse come from all classes, cultures, sex, gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, ethnicity, physical or mental ability or age. People who choose to abuse are the only people capable of changing their own abusive behavior.